So everyone has a mortal enemy, whether they know it or not. It could be a person OR an object. My mortal enemy, the bane of my existence, that which I loathe to a degree that’s probably abnormal, is the gas powered leaf blower.
Have you ever seen a leaf? Small, light-weight, portable - especially in fall, when they’ve lost all their moisture and fallen off the trees. Even a whole pile of leaves is a pretty light load. If you had a trash-bag full of leaves and dropped it on someone it would not hurt. So, why does anyone need a contraption which has a motor that directly consumes a fossil fuel to move leaves around! It might be a little quicker and easier than raking, especially if you have a big yard, but this is
Granted, if an evil witch broke into your house and needed to get somewhere to hatch her evil plans, she wouldn’t be able to ride the leaf blower, whereas the rake would probably make do. Odds are she took your broom already (because really, who doesn’t have a broom), so that’s a moot point.
Back to the gas powered leaf blowers. I’m sure there are things which exist that are even more ridiculous in their inherent nature. A gas-powered vibrator would be more ridiculous, as well as a store that exclusively sold lingerie for cats. Those things don’t make sense either, but they also don’t involve you blowing around leaves with a machine into which you put gasoline to fire up an engine! You’re not driving anywhere, you’re not going to impress the ladies (or dudes) with your sweet new leaf blower. No, you’re standing in your yard with that goofy little back pack, blowing leaves into a pile. People, that is simply absurd.
