Thursday, May 29, 2008

sassy black woman at rosslyn

so i was coming back from happy hour in old town.  blue line from king street to rosslyn.  transfer at rosslyn.  i get off blue.  as expected i can hear a train coming.  i know in my heart it is orange.  so myself and everyone else bolt for the escalator to get to the lower platform.  we make it to the escalator.  some dude has his roll luggage.  he blocks the ENTIRE ESCALATOR.  i want him to die with the fire of a thousand suns.  

the train is coming.  i still know it's orange.  the woman in front of me shoves past him on the side.  a sassy black woman behind us yells "GET OUT OF THE WAY THE TRAIN IS COMING!"  I shove past the gentleman in question.  it's orange!! hooray!!  anyway i run and make it.  so does the escalator and the sassy black woman.

in conclusion

1) fuck you dude with baggage.  next time i will mercilessly passive aggressively run through your giant bags.  it would have been 13 more minutes for orange and i would have directed my bitter rage at you the entire time.  

2) i would tell you to take the elevator except.... it's been broken since december...

3) ALL TRAINS MUST HAVE SASSY BLACK WOMEN ON THEM.  mandatory.

2 comments:

Forajido said...

I am inclined to agree with your observation Mr.D'huyvetter. However, I find that sassy women of all shapes, colors, and sizes on the metro maintain an air of self preservation rather than an altruistic mission of mass-transit efficiency. While their efforts to make it home to their cats each night occasionally provides me with a dedicated and goal driven blocker into the promised land of a departing train; it is that same diligence that causes me to miss my green to red connection each morning due to their quixotic mission of denying all others the privilege of entering the metro-car first. So in conclusion, sassy women of the world... use your power for good, FOR GOOD!

Kate Jordan said...

I wish I were a sassy black woman.